The show starts,Dermot comes on,we await an explanation of last weeks cock up,but none was given,they carry on as if everything was above board,Gary and Louis shake hands and the show starts properly.
First up is the shy little Jahmene Douglas,we know he is shy because they keep telling us,in his VT we learn how shy he really is when they tell us he is still a virgin at 21,but he doesn’t just want a shag,he wants to fall in love with the right girl,so he is shy and sweet,the grannies will love him even more,while the girls his age will just laugh at him.
The song I didn’t recognize but apparently it was an Amy Winehouse/Ashford & Simpson mix
It used to be that they would put one of the strongest acts on first,but over the last few years they seem to have done the opposite,so while although he got favourable comments,I think the fact he was on first plus the song choice could leave him in the bottom 2 this week.
Christopher Maloney – Sang Alone by Heart (Video)
They have already branded him as Mr Cheese,expect this to repeated every week till he leaves.
He sang well,but he is just fodder waiting his turn,I don’t think it will be this week,but……
Union J – Sang Leona Lewis (Bleedin love)& James Morrison mash-up (video)
Looking like One Direction – 1,we have yet another pik’n’mix boyband,they are so much like One Direction they even have one with a Harry Styles haircut,George is his name,I think,but don’t quote me on that.
This week they got to meet their dopplegangers,One Direction.. I said ONE DIRECTION
The two Harry haircuts were eyeing each other up suspiciously. Notice later on that the other boyband don’t get to meet One Direction.
Ok enough now.
Oh their performance,dire really as boyband songs always are,but they will still be on our screen next week pretending they have talent.
Ella Henderson – sang Minnie Rippertons Loving You (video)
In the VT they have her denying a romance with Harry haircut from Union J,press speculation about romances between contestants are part of what drive the x-factor machine.
Ella will win x-factor,not much of a prediction I know,but she will,she is a cut above vocally wise than anyone else in the competition,a bit like Leona was in her year,add to that the fact she is only 16,she can write her own songs and ladies and gentlemen,we have a winner,but shush,don’t tell anyone,we have to pretend like the others have a chance.
Onto her performance,I don’t like the song but I guess it was chosen to show her vocal range,which is pretty impressive.
James Arthur – sang Mary J Blige’s No More Drama
James Arthur Rank,Yes i know his last name isn’t Rank,but it works on so many levels,as rhyming slang and as a word to sum up his talent,this week VT had him in a pub with Nicole,drinking beer and eating pork scratchings,Nicole didn’t look impressed,the things a girl has to do in showbiz these days.
The performance was uber intense,scary really,which sums up most all of his performances,he should be good on halloween week.
Lucy Spraggan – sang Kanye Wests Gold Digger (Video)
In her VT she revealed that her gran had died this week,this kind of revelation during a VT makes me feel uncomfortable,I can’t help but feel cynical as if both the producers and the person involved are using it as some kind of sympathy card to gain a free pass to the following week.
If someone close to you dies,don’t cry on a Saturday night tv entertainment show,it just looks bad,however genuine your motives,I have to give Lucy the benefit of the doubt,at the same time when she then says,this week I will sing a happy song and everything will be alright,because that is how easy it is to get over a loved one isn’t it? It makes me question how close she actually was to her gran,and the song she sings,Gold digger,I am surprised they didn’t change the lyrics to grave digger.
Her performance,she performed well,she will still be here next week,would she have been without the tears & trauma? who knows.
District3 sang All 4 One’s I Swear (Video)
They never got to meet One Direction,that fact alone tells me that their stay in this show will be short,they could even go this week.
The judges praised their vocals while highlighting their apparent lack of personality,which translates to “You won’t sell records to young screaming girls on the back of your vocal harmonies,so we will stitch you up with crap song choices and negative comments and VTs till the public get the message that we want you gone,oh look at Georges hair,doesn’t he look like Harry .*Swoon….”
Jade Ellis sang Amy Winehouses Love Is A Losing Game (Video)
Faultless performance,unmemorable also really,I think she will be safe,just.
MK1 sang Jackson 5s I Want You Back (Video)
Mk1,unusual on the x-factor in that they actually have a personality,the girl can really sing aswell,I want you back isn’t the easiest of songs to sing as so many on these type of reality shows have proved,but she was key perfect.
The judges comments were mixed but I think they did enough to avoid the bottom two.
Kye Sones sang a Rhianna/Eminem/Dido Mash-up (Video)
The worst mash up of songs ever,sung by a man who is obviously in the show to make up the numbers,I couldn’t quite work out what he was singing at first,then I realized it was Rihannas Love the way you lie,then I thought,oh no,is he going to do the Eminem bit and rap,luckily he didn’t,unluckily he broke into Dido’s “My tea’s gone cold, I’m wondering why, I Got out of bed at all” Which what I was kind of thinking at the time.
I think he will be bottom two this week,the only thing in his favour is the judges negative comments,sometimes the public react by voting for an act out of sympathy,I hope not in his case,while I realize he is being set up to go,He is not someone I want to see on my TV ever again.
Rylan Clark sang Deee-lite/PSY/Technotronic mash-up (Video)
Hereeees Rylan!! Or is it Chico?… Jedward? Wagner? Different person same old thing,X-factor isn’t X-factor without the the joke act and this year it is Rylan,last week he narrowly escaped an early exit,when I say narrowly,he was never going to go last week,they will keep him till at least week 7,you know when it is his turn to go when Gary says “Actually I quite enjoyed that”. (In a thick Northern accent,emphasis on the thick)
This week they pulled out all the stops giving him a mash up of songs,starting with a little of Take Thats back for good with Gary faking a surprised expression,it is not like he wouldn’t of done that at rehearsals,but then Barlow is quite a good actor,as we saw last week with his flounce off stage.
So this week it was all dancers and balloons and a good spot just before the pimp slot near the end,Rylan will be up there in the votes this week,guaranteed.
Melanie Masson sang INXS Never Tear Us Apart (Video)
Melanie given the pimp slot this week,I am not sure why as she butchered that song,perhaps they knew it was a weak week for her so gave her the pimp slot to keep her in? They seem to like her for some reason,I still don’t quite get why,she is a typical x-factor singer,interrupting songs with unnecessary big notes.
Jahmene isn’t safe from the bottom two,nor are Mk1 but
I think Kye & District3 will be the bottom 2 with District3 getting sent home.