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Big brother 9 Launch night – The blindman,the albino and the happy thai

Big brother nine launched to the usual promises of NO wannabees and a get tough house,and what do we get ,a house full of wannabees,and an adult equivlent of the naughty step.

So who are the housemates…

Alexandra

alexandraMother at 15,worked hard,blah blah blah,leaves the car to a chorus of boo’s,but instead of smiling ,waving,and walking into the house,she adopts a stroppy pout and gets the crowds backs up even more,house entries mean nothing though,the dim(minutive) geordie Anthony Hutton got booed on entry so all is not lost for Alexandra.

Dale

daleEX- wannabee footballer,Man UTD apparently,self confessed ladies man who wont talk to ugly women,trainee PE teacher who hates kids,yet left the car to a chorus of cheers,go figure the mainly women audience,hes probably not as bad as he makes himself out,as Mikey in big brother 7 said similar over the top things on his VT just to get into the house.

Darnell

dareBig brother tops itself with a black white man,or what is commonly termed an albino,throw in the fact that hes american,and he comes across like a classic Bond villian. Hes probably a nice guy,but you kinda know big brother didnt choose him for his personality,but for his albinoism (is that even a word)

Dennis

dennisA cross between Anthony Hutton and kemal,came out of the car throwing his shapes,dancing around,and generally acting like the wannabe that he is,arriving at where he felt he was always meant to be. on TV.

Jennifer

jennThe so called Cheryl Cole,looks wise i don’t really see it,but if you close your eyes she does kind of sound like her,other than that,her VT says shes argumentative and opinionated about whats going on in the world,but my guess is that the only things she will have opinions on in the house is whose been using her curling tongues.

Kathreya

nancyI was sure it was Nancy lam when i first saw her,ok i know its not,but surely they are related,if not maybe shes just an obsessive fan,she could maybe make a career as a Nancy Lam look/sound/act-alike after big brother finishes. Happy Happy Happy,or so she says,just wait till week two and like Laura last year she finds it hard to drag herself out of bed.

Lisa

lisaOne half of the big brother couple,brought in by big brother to shag on TV,under the guise of a week one task,she looked a little like an older lisa scott lee tonight,but then that was with make up.

Mario

marioThe other half,looks like a cross between sly stallone and the bloke out of jake and the fatman,i know ive seen him on TV before but i can’t place him,it will probably turn out hes been on everything from Trisha to Jeremy kyle. Another wannabe famous.

Luke

lukeWhen i first heard his voice i thought “frank sidebottom” ,Luke is an obvious showman,he comes across like hes playing a character,which if he is will be hard to keep up for 13 weeks,but then again Brian Belo managed it.

Michael

blindBig brother scrapes the barrel again,by putting in a blind man,not just any old blind man,but a cross dressing,DJ kind of blind man,of course they will claim that he was put in on merit,but would the Seany (BB8) dress-a-like have got into the house if he had 20/20 vision.

Mohamed

moCan’t say i remember much about his VT,other than that he was from Somlia or somewhere,entered the house dressed like a member of the jackson 5.

Rachel

rachThe best looking of the females,a trainee teacher,actor,she even has a page on the internet movie database,so no one can call her a wanabee surely? Anyway she came across ok,and will probably go far in a Shell jubin final four kind of way.

Rebecca

beccaLoud,screams a lot,didn’t get booed though,maybe it was because she was a big girl,the females in the audience didn’t feel threatened,either way shes week one cannon fodder for sure.

Rex

rexThe Gordon Ramsey wanabee,looking to become the next big TV chef,but unlike the others you know this guy has had to graft to get where hes got,so if anything comes his way good luck to him. One thing i can’t forgive him for though, is those shoes.

Stephanie

stephThis years NUTS exclusive housemate,Stephanie has been trying to get famous since she was a teenager when she appeared on popstars the rivals,she wasn’t allowed to progress on that for being to young,so this is her chance to show her talents,so expect lots of singing and showing of flesh.

Sylvia

sylviaReminds me of makosi in manner,lets hope shes doesn’t have makosi’s penchant for drama and blurring of the truth.

So they are all in the house,let battle begin.

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